My Queen
by RegencyGirl17
Summary: A midnight conversation between Pip and Estella set a few months after the original story ends.


**A/N: When I read Great Expectations for the first time I fell in love with Pip and Estella's bittersweet love story. The ending of the book left almost everything to the readers imagination as to what would happen between them in the future. In my opinion, Estella has been "bent and broken" to the extent that she will need time to learn to trust again and love for the first time. Pip has had time and friends to help him heal during their years apart. She, as of yet, has not. This is a one shot of a conversation at Pip's House in Egypt, where I imagine he took Estella after the book ended. Not necessarily accurate to the time period but I think accurate to the characters. If you are still with me after this long authors note, please enjoy and let me know if you liked it.**

 **(Written in dialogue only format.)**

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"Estella…"

"Pip? Oh… was I having another nightmare?"

"Yes… You were calling out."

"I am sorry to wake you so often. I do not mean to deprive you of what must be much needed sleep after you have worked all day."

"I don't mind. I cannot rest when I think that you are suffering alone."

"You are too good to me."

"I am kinder to myself. Your company is my greatest delight."

"I am crying… I never thought I would ever be able to cry… now I do it so often I am thoroughly ashamed. But I am glad nonetheless… you don't know how frightening it is to think that you have none of those emotions which can serve to draw other hearts closer to each other."

"You are my heart Estella. How can something have need of becoming closer to me when it is already part of my very being?"

"You don't know what you have chained yourself to."

"Of my own free will I would gladly accept such a chain. But you have made no pledge and the last thing I would want is for you to feel entrapped in any way."

"How can I feel anything but the deepest gratitude? You brought me here. You have taken me into your home. You care for me yet ask nothing. I want to give freely like you… but I cannot."

"You have suffered too keenly to trust again so soon, that is all."

"You too have suffered… why can you still love so freely?"

"My suffering was self-imposed,"

"As was mine."

"No. Those I trusted never once let me down in my most selfish miserable moments. Those you trusted betrayed you in every possible way. I myself let you down. I should have come sooner, to see how you fared. I was afraid of opening in my own heart old wounds that were not quite healed. I stayed away far too long."

"Pip… I thought of you so often… so often. Sometimes I caught myself waiting for your step, your voice… hoping against all reason that I would see you coming up the stairs to take me away."

"I promise you Estella, that you will never wait in vain for me again."

...

"Why did you never marry? You could have made some woman so happy."

"My heart was never mine to give."

"But I cannot marry you… I want to… but I cannot… ungrateful wretch that I am. I cannot be a proper wife. I cannot give you children. I am afraid... afraid of ruining them as I was ruined."

"Estella… I did not mean to reproach you in any way. Heaven forbid I or any other man alive should reproach you for your fears after such a childhood and marriage as you endured. You already know I have loved you since the moment I first saw you. But it does not follow that I am discontented to love you like a gracious queen whom I may serve devotedly to my last breath and find every desire fulfilled therein."

"Tell me how I am like a queen Pip. I see very little similarity."

...

"I know you are smiling in the dark Pip. You think I sound like a sleepy child… But I will tell you that I know no one else with whom I would feel comfortable acting as such."

"I was just collecting my thoughts. How do you like… beautiful as the day itself… mysterious as the shadows that the moon never reaches… causing all mankind to fall at your feet in humble adulation."

"And in love with the village blacksmith's boy, but cruelty prevented by fate from giving him my heart."

...

"Can you rest now, dearest Estella?"

"Will you stay with me?"

"I shall sit here as long as you need me."

"Will you take my hand. I feel safe when I know you're there even with my eyes closed."

"Is that alright?"

"Yes. Thank you Pip. Goodnight."

...

"Estella… Are you awake? Goodnight… my queen."

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 **I'd love to know what you think. :)**


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